For the girl who thinks she's too much
Have you ever felt like you were too much for people to handle?
I have. In fact, I spent most of my teenage years worrying that I was ‘too much’.
You see, I was the girl who was bouncing off the walls with energy - I was excitable, loud and I could talk for hours on end (yes, I was that girl at sleepovers who wouldn’t go to sleep!)
I distinctly remember being at a sleepover when I was 12 years old. I was playing the piano and having a great old time when one of the girls came over and slammed the lid shut, declaring something along the lines of “you’re just too loud, be quiet!”
A wave of shame came over me and I just wanted to disappear from the room. I can still remember the exact feeling to this day. It was one of the first times I felt extremely self-conscious and acutely aware of what others thought of me.
As a teenager, I worried about whether I was too much.
I distinctly remember leaving sleepovers or hangouts like that one worrying about whether my friends liked me or not. I would go home and spend hours and hours analysing and agonising over what I said, what I did, and what my friends thought of my every move and word.
I tried to fit in a box that wasn’t made for me.
I would convince myself that next time I spent time with my friends I would be more reserved - make less noise, shut up and listen a lot more. But then when I couldn’t meet this unattainable expectation, I felt like even more of a failure, even more ‘too much’.
Until I embraced my point of difference.
As I finished school and gained confidence, I started to embrace who I was. I don’t remember what the turning point was. But I remember meeting a girl at my church who was equal parts loud and crazy (at times she totally put me to shame!) and thinking: “she’s like me! I’m not alone.” Today, she is one of my very best friends. While our other friends may be a bit more on the reserved end of the spectrum, we bring a different flavour and I’m thankful for that.
You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.
Or you could be the tastiest, richest flavour of chocolate ice cream and there’ll still be someone who hates chocolate. ;) Gosh, you could be the whole rainbow and there will still be people who don’t like rainbows.
What I know is that your unique flavour is needed in this world.
However loud or quiet you are, however excitable or subdued, however energetic or laid back - who you are is important. Your enthusiasm and zest for life might be the encouragement that someone needs today. Your gentle, listening ear might be the comfort that someone needs today.
You have been fearfully and wonderfully made
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
- Psalm 139:1 (NIV)
When you feel like you are too much, start praising and thanking God for that you have been fearfully and wonderfully made.
Ask God to help you overcome your fear of what other people think.
Ask God to help you be free from the endless worrying and playing things over in your head.
Ask God to help you be secure in your identity in him.
Thank God for your point of difference and ask Him to use you in it, so that you can point others to the love of Jesus.
What lies have you believed? Let’s bust them with my free guide: 10 lies every 20 something should stop believing now.
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